“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” NELSON MANDELA
The construct of hate often begins with a hatred of oneself. Hatred kills one’s potential. Hatred kills the potential of others. Hatred serves no productive purpose other than to enable the hater to redirect their life and attention toward the often violent, often illegal, often pyrrhic, defeat of the object of their hatred.
And hatred is communicable – it can be caught, transmitted, ingrained and enlarged. And once it gets established, and its momentums gain mass and velocity, it becomes a force that continues until depleted or interdicted or rerouted. Any denigration of another person or group, any discrimination, any degradation, any denial of equal rights and inclusiveness becomes an integral factor in the SLANT that nourishes hate.
If hatred is employed to stop the hatred and tyranny of others, it may help fortify the commitment of the interdictors, but it is not necessary to organize and act to defeat aggressors. Hate is not necessary in life. Hate is not even real. It exists because we have learned it from our ancestors. It exists because we culturally and educationally tolerate it as an acceptable conscious or subconscious state. Hate in any form is not acceptable.
We believe hate can be phased out.
We can understand that when one experiences hate, or witnesses hate at any time in any form, it means that something is missing in the haters, that causal factors in a bigger context need further consideration, that inherited programming and experiences have overwhelmed conscious and subconscious NETS understandings, and that you and others must not accept, tolerate or ignore the haters.
All of us can hear and see the haters among us, beyond us, close to us. So many of us, so many tight closed communities, have learned hate and pass it on. And what we find today is that the haters have learned to justify, rationalize, cherry pick simplicities and ideologies and mis-facts, accuse the non haters of hating them, invent mis-truths that they claim to be self evident, shut out every form of intervention or opposing view, singularly compose their focus in life behind the mask of hate, and never, ever, believe that they are the problem, that they have a problem, that they are denying themselves and others the right to their full potential – across the domains of Nurture, Equality, the Pursuit of Truth and the Actualization of Systemic Understanding.
Those of us watching the tsunami waves of hate gather strength and unity behind Trump and similar minded individuals cannot remain passive. When you see and hear their manifestations of hate, or their clever disguises of hate masked as reason and common sense, in defense of freedom to harm, as defense against the illusory threats of whole groups of people, whole religions, whole populations recently arrived and absurdly as religious teaching, you need to gently intervene by informing them and those who carry intimate influence with them that their expressions of reality are manifestations of hate – caused by a world without principles that program people for nurture, equality and the pursuit of systemic truth – caused by our inherited and perpetuated SLANTS and caused by the real sense of empowerment and superiority hate produces.
Here are some words that are aligned with the structures of mental disorder. Listen to them and see how many apply to Trump and many of his fellow haters: severe alienation, paranoia, anger, mania, delusions, hallucinations, phobias, neurosis, hysteria, depression, anxiety, abnormal fear or reasoning, fixations, narcissism……
On the subject of Narcissism, Donald Trump presents with the classic symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here is wikipedia’s summary of Narcissistic Personality Disorder using the guidelines from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders:
People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by their persistent grandiosity, excessive need for admiration, and a disdain and lack of empathy for others. These individuals often display arrogance, a sense of superiority, and power-seeking behaviors. Narcissistic personality disorder is different from having a strong sense of self-confidence. This is because people with NPD typically value themselves over others to the extent that they disregard the feelings and wishes of others and expect to be treated as superior regardless of their actual status or achievements. In addition, people with NPD may exhibit fragile egos, an inability to tolerate criticism, and a tendency to belittle others in an attempt to validate their own superiority.
According to the DSM-5, individuals with NPD have most or all of the following symptoms, typically without commensurate qualities or accomplishments:
– Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others
– Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
– Self-perception of being unique, superior and associated with high-status people and institutions
– Needing constant admiration from others
– Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
– Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
– Unwilling to empathize with others’ feelings, wishes, or needs
– Intensely jealous of others and the belief that others are equally jealous of them
– Pompous and arrogant demeanor
NPD usually develops by adolescence or early adulthood. It is not uncommon for children and teens to display some traits similar to NPD, but these are typically transient without meeting full criteria for the diagnosis. True NPD symptoms are pervasive, apparent in various situations, and rigid, remaining consistent over time. The symptoms must be severe enough that they significantly impair the individual’s ability to develop meaningful relationships with others. Symptoms also generally impair an individual’s ability to function at work, school, or in other important settings. According to the DSM-5, these traits must differ substantially from cultural norms in order to qualify as symptoms of NPD.
People with NPD tend to exaggerate their skills and accomplishments as well as their level of intimacy with people they consider to be high-status. Their sense of superiority may cause them to monopolize conversations and to become impatient or disdainful when others talk about themselves. In the course of conversation, they may purposefully or unknowingly disparage or devalue the other person by overemphasizing their own success. When they are aware that their statements have hurt someone else, they tend to react with contempt and to view it as a sign of weakness. When their own ego is wounded by a real or perceived criticism, their anger can be disproportionate to situation, but typically, their actions and responses are deliberate and calculated. Despite occasional flare-ups of insecurity, their self-image is primarily stable (i.e., overinflated).
To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others’ needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen. Narcissistic individuals use various strategies to protect the self at the expense of others. They tend to devalue, derogate, insult, blame others and they often respond to threatening feedback with anger and hostility. Since the fragile ego of individuals with NPD is hypersensitive to perceived criticism or defeat, they are prone to feelings of shame, humiliation and worthlessness over minor or even imagined incidents. They usually mask these feelings from others with feigned humility, isolating socially or they may react with outbursts of rage, defiance, or by seeking revenge. The merging of the “inflated self-concept” and the “actual self” is seen in the inherent grandiosity of narcissistic personality disorder. Also inherent in this process are the defense mechanisms of denial, idealization and devaluation.
According to the DSM-5, “Many highly successful individuals display personality traits that might be considered narcissistic. Only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress do they constitute narcissistic personality disorder.” Although overconfidence tends to make individuals with NPD ambitious, it does not necessarily lead to success and high achievement professionally. These individuals may be unwilling to compete or may refuse to take any risks in order to avoid appearing like a failure. In addition, their inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional relationships with superiors and colleagues.
Obviously, Donald Trump presents with most of the symptoms of
Clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
That means we need to increase efforts to prevent and phase out hate and openly address mental disorders when they cause real harm to the individual and others.
That means we need to teach and model and experience the alternatives to hate.
That means we need to embrace NETS – Nurture, Equality, the Pursuit of Truth and Systemic Understanding. To teach it. To live it.
Trusted, believed, beloved third parties need to become a systemic force to mediate and teach – using an open and transparent Proof Process to dissolve hate, identify and treat serious mental disorders that harm the individual and others, and introduce solutions designed to nurture, prevent and protect.
To stop the forces that propel hate, every effort and attention by us, by our personal and societal systems, must be made to enable all people and groups to live their peaceful lives WITHOUT deprivation, terror, intense poverty, hate, subjugation, injustice, discrimination, disenfranchisement, tyranny, virtual imprisonment, hopelessness….FOCUSING ON systemic opportunity, education, trust, integrity, human warmth, kindness, inclusive and richly diverse human experiences…and REDUCING TOWARD ZERO the existing programming of hate, one by one, group by group, by example, and by speaking out, healing, teaching and if necessary forcefully confronting the speech and acts that carry hate forward.
It is not ok to hate. If you wish, you can call hate a mental disorder. A label. A word. A SLANT. Hate is legitimized mental disorder. Yes, hate is an awful, tragic, debilitating, powerful, resilient killer form of the conscious and subconscious mind. But it is preventable, treatable and can be eradicated.
We prefer to cooperatively model and vitalize Nurture, Equality, Truth and Systems. When we see hate, when we experience it, we must recognize it NOT for what it is, but what it IS NOT. CHALLENGE HATERS NOT WITH HATE BUT WITH COMPASSION AND A VIGOROUS PASSION TO TEACH, MODEL AND ORGANIZE CHANGE AGENTS WHO CAN ACCESS THE HATERS, AS INDIVIDUALS OR SMALL GROUPS, AND INFLUENCE THEIR PATH TOWARD A MORE HEALTHY APPROACH TO THE FOCUS OF THEIR LIVES AND PARTICULARLY, TOWARD THE PRECIOUS LIVES OF ALL OTHERS.
As for Donald Trump and all those with deep seated debilitating and dangerous forms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, harmful to the individual and dangerous to all those they interact with (grandiosity and omnipotence are dangerous), it is important that the causes, behaviors, effects and treatments be systemically understood, that well considered gentle interventions be invoked, and that they should NEVER, EVER, EVER, be granted the powers of the Presidency, or the power to control the lives of others.
Because NPD, by definition, prevents the individual from caring about us, caring about the world, caring about anyone but themselves – their whole identity is based upon the imaginary goal of beating their hallucinations of THEM – smart women, all women, people of color, immigrants, poor people, non-toxic people, LGBTQ people, people who do not look or function like them, people born in the wrong country or in the wrong religion, people who embrace science and systemic knowledge over voodoo ideologies, people who believe in the constitution and equality and justice…. They have set US up as the enemy and they want to win, because of years of brainwashing and mal-programming and because their whole identity has narrowed to the act of winning, despite the consequences to their children, to this nation and to all nations.
It is an act of clinical insanity to turn over the keys to the kingdom, to immense military power, to the service of humanity, to someone presenting with a full blown case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder – which irrevocably comes with the heavy baggage of all of the Hate and Haters he attracts and comforts.
It is both breathtaking and mindblowing that anyone can not understand the incapacity of Donald to lead a constitutional democracy. He is a literal historically verified insane person – unsuitable as a teacher, unsuitable as a civil servant, unsuitable as an honest caring person who believes in justice, truth and equality.
Donald Trump is not sane. The documented consensus by the commons and by thousands of clinically trained psychologists and psychiatrists is immense and incontrovertible. He cannot follow a logical argument to its conclusion. He cannot understand the principles of the constitution and a democratic republic. He is paranoid. HE CANNOT DISTINGUISH TRUTH FROM FICTION. He has a severe full blown instantiation of narcissistic personality disorder – which prevents outside knowledge and viewpoints from entering his deeply protected consciousness. He now possesses the greatest power a human being has ever known. He now inherits the fragile and beautiful experiment we call representational democracy. For him to be so damaged and insulated from the reality visible to most of us outside of his mind is catastrophic unless we act in solidarity. Lets begin to document his insanity. Lets begin to document his unconstitutional, corrupt and illegal acts. Lets challenge him and his administration to prosecution if they break the law (they already have). Lets follow the Constitutional provisions that will remove him from office because of his obvious incapacity. We must honor our constitution and renew it for all……Women, Racial/Ethnic/Religious Minorities, LGBTQ, Indigenous, Immigrants, Physically and Mentally Diverse, Poor, Children, Underemployed, Peace-Loving, Open-Minded, Knowledge Driven Peoples. LOVE AND SANITY MUST PREVAIL.